Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Knit a row. Purl a row. Knit a Row. Purl.....


I signed up for a basic knitting course with a couple great women friends of mine. I have learned to knit and purl at various times throughout the years and have even knit a few wearables. Scarves for holiday gifts and a sweet little hat for Hoopingirl for which she designed the color scheme.
I do really love to knit at times during the year. I'm particularly drawn to knitting in the fall and winter seasons. Something about drinking tea and knitting feels warm and nourishing to me especially when mixed with a good visit. Today I met my great friend at our local Food Coop and we helped each other with the ole purl stitch. I've always learned to throw in my knit and purl and in this class we are learning to pick. Already I loved the term because when I hear pick I think of Bluegrass music and though I play no instrument that requires a pick--it is in one of my dreams to learn to play the fiddle someday or bass perhaps. In this pick method though, the action is much quieter and I like it. Knitting this new way came along fairly quickly but the purl well that's felt a little awkward so far. The awkwardness is a good thing I'm convinced. The awkwardness is a challenge. I've come to learn that I like this kind of challenge . I want to keep at it until it feels natural. For now, so mindful. so conscious. Not yet relaxing. Yet its ok. It feels good to be learning something new.

But the time, the hour away from work sitting with my dear friend all cozy in our sweaters knitting and visiting and laughing was rich. I told her this is my vision that I will have this time away from a routine job--two hours to do this to do something so delicious to feel a little of that freedom. I can see the design of the day--taking Hoopingirl to school for a shorter day than now, me writing, working and taking time out to nourish myself. Spending more time with my Girl. The rhythm seems good.

When I sat there last week in the first class metting, I realized how energized I felt just being out learning something new. On my own. I'd not scheduled any regular recreational activity for myself since Hoopingirl was born. The reasons ah well that's a big subject on finding balance between working and being a mama and not wanting to take time away from my mama time with Hoopingirl. The balance is challenging. I have worked full-time to provide for our family as the Papa has been in school for the last two years redirecting his own career. I leave work and I want to be with my Girl. And in that precious time after work and until her bedtime, there is still the need to find balance and time for myself. There has been great pull not to because I've not wanted to take time away from her. I am trying to grasp and learn how important it is that I do take some regular time away in order to re-energize and nurture myself for myself, for my family. I definitely take time for myself but let's say it has not been any sort of regularly scheduled anything more like a here and there and a I better schedule it a week ahead of time kind of thing. This is my own doing and my own responsibility I realize that more and more.
The balance though is shifting. Now our priority is to create a way for me to work less away from home. I am taking steps to create time for myself and it is true the more I do that even 15 minutes or 30 minutes, I am far more refreshed to be a much more conscious, mindful and present parent. This involves such a shift in thinking at least on my part. The internal dialog of quieting my mind of any guilt. Nourish yourself. Nourish the Girl. Nourish the Family. Slow Down. Relax. This is a new way of thinking. Awkward at first. I will practice and slowly it will feel more natural. On we go. Knit a Row. Purl A Row. Knit a Row. Purl...

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