fall in the air. soup on the stove.

I love the feeling of fall in the air. Digging for sweaters and corduroy pants. Getting back to knitting. Cooking. I'm not so much a by the book recipe gal but I definitely like to leaf through my collection search given ingredients online and go from there. For me its intuition and improvisation that lead to most night's dinners. The fun for me is in making something out of whatever we happen to have around. Or in going to the store and putting together a meal based on an inkling of what I want dinner to look like, taste like. Yesterday, I felt the crispness of fall. And knew it was time for a pot of soup. Improvisation from there. Local, natural pork, fresh beets and their greens, spinach, white beans, tomato and penne. Hearty and super filling and warm. On the side, a little bowl of crisp apples with some sharp local cheddar. The night was sweet. Family time at the table. Taking photos of food is brand new to me and clearly I have a ways to go. But since this is a journey in daily life and a journey in getting my creativity flowing here's a little pic of the soup. No matter how it looks here, the taste was what I imagined it would be. Hoopingirl and her Papa ate if up.


And on knitting, I signed up for a class. Taking it with two of my good pals. I am excited because its been ages since I've taken any sort of class just for me. I know how to knit a little and have even made a scarf or two or three and one hat. I know so little though about patterns and fixing dropped stitches and well I thought what better way to dig into knitting this fall then to learn something more about it. Dreaming of making hoopingirl a vest.

Working on the Dream

So it hit me hard once again today. I want to work part-time! Yes I do. I need to say it aloud and write this down alot to put it out there. Walk the earth and say it loud! Riding the balance of being a Mom and wanting to spend time, precious time with my Hoopingirl and knowing I have the responsibility to bring home the bacon is precarious at times. I work to provide for my girl and I have to coach the part of me who is missing so much spending at least several more hours a week with my girl of that very fact. Would I feel it so precarious if I loved the work I was doing more? I don't know. For now, I go to work, I do the job, I leave. Mind you, this is one of the few times in my life I have felt this way about work. I have always invested so much of myself in my job because I loved the work. The fact that days pass so quickly and knowing I have spent each week so many hours away from my girl in a place that does not nurture my soul or where I do not feel like I'm making a meaningful contribution to the community at large well its a lot to think about some days and believe me I do. Let's just say some mornings it just isn't my first choice to walk out the door to a job that is just ok. I talk us both through it on days when Hoopingirl isn't quite ready for me to leave. I remind us both, though mainly myself I know well, why I work, for our home, for the clothes we wear, for the fun we have, so that her dad could go to school for the last two years and get on the road himself toward something he loves to do. I am grateful yes I really am that I have work so that I can take care of us. But it is time to work in new ways! Getting on the road to changing my work scene is a big part of why I am writing. I am working on creating a new vision for work and life balance and bringing it to the light of day.

I know what I want work to feel like and I'm getting so much closer to knowing what I want it to look like. I know what has most meaning to me. Being there for my girl, my family, being there for myself in doing work I love, work that is just a natural part of who I am. I do have some very practical tasks at hand, that is to come up with real numbers of what I must bring in dollar-wise. I can taste it, perhaps a little more balance day to day, more time to spend with my Hoopingirl and more time carved out for me, the me working on the dream to start my own business.

I know I can make this happen. This being working part-time doing something I enjoy or hey even love again. I know that feeling of doing work I love and really in the work world there's not much better. Where work doesn't feel like work but rather an extension of who we are. Where time flies. Where we shine internally and externally because we are doing what we love. And to be around other people who feel the same. The energy is contagious. I've had the honor to have several jobs where I have felt this. Teaching and counseling adults in career transition and designing websites for various projects. Two of my favorite work experiences. Yes, so different in some ways but there are deep parallels in that they gave me the chance for creativity, autonomy, fluidity, and freedom to experiment with ideas. Work in this time and place was far from routine and repetitious. Working with people who cared

I talk about it more and more because by talking about it I gather ideas and input.
And now I put it out in Blogville. There is far more to explore here.

On Getting to the Board

So, the Bulletin Board. I remember being so jazzed about these corkboard tiles. I left them at the foot of the stairs for the latter part of the week and finally on Saturday I made the giant next step of bringing them upstairs to my office/guestroom. And there they sat for the next few days while I made the choice to do other things like go camping on a whim with my family.

We are fortunate to live in a magnificent area close to mountains, rivers, lakes and ocean among other natural wonders. We had a leisurely saturday, slow and easy. We decided midday that we wanted to go camping, car-camping. By 3, after saying goodbye to my dear friends moving to the mid-west and packing up whatever we thought could be important for one night in the woods, Hoopingirl, her daddio and I headed out to find a campsite. Somewhere. We drove north just about an hour into Canada to find a lake. This would be great. Swimming, roasting corn and turkey-dogs over the fire, hooping, a late night beer from a can while sitting around the fire talking after our girl went to bed, watching the flames, all cozy in warm sweaters--what could be better.

Yes, in the states and in Canada this 3 day weekend is one of the busiest but for us, I think we just trusted something would turn up. We had no reservations and as we came upon our destination which we more or less decided upon on the drive, the 4 major campsites in the area we chose were FULL. There it was in huge letters: FULL. Well, I thought who cares, we'll swim, picnic, find an adventure and drive back home if we can't find a place to sleep. Daddio though said "nah let's ask, there's gotta be something." We drove up to the ranger station and sure enough the Ranger said "well yah, we have 1 left". Couldn't believe it. Off we went to site # 74 and set up camp.

Though I've sure not got out camping much lately, everytime I get out and do it I think about how much I love it. Car-camping is like luxury camping to me. All the comforts of home practically. Air beds in the van, good food, bottles of wine if you want it, hoola hoops and balls, books you name it, pillows, everything is game. Of course this trip we may have forgotten forks and plates but we did remember our toothbrushes. While car-camping is luxury, I love backpacking too, bringing the essentials on your back. Sleeping bag, tent, therm-r-rest, cards, yummy food where you get to be perhaps more innovative with less, tarp and rope, water-purifier, matches and more that's in my camping box I know I'm forgetting. What I always loved about backpacking was making camp with what you have. I thought about how long it has been since I've taken a backpack trip--almost 5 years to the date. Here comes a new goal! Get back out there with a pack on.

Anyway, back to site # 74. We all sat around the fire, cooked our corn and turkey-dogs and felt full. After putting Hoopingirl to bed, we did put another log or few on the fire and talked, sipping our beer--not canned this time but it still met my vision of the camp-scene. I dozed off in front of the fire so warm and relaxed. We were slugs plain and simple and it felt so great. We woke up to a short sprinkle that passed quickly. I thought though this was a great excuse to stay in the van and sleep. More. We played games with Hoopingirl or alternated I suppose while each one of us got to take a little bit more of a nap. Hoopingirl gave us massages that were among the best around using her body. This time away for the 3 of us felt good and easy. Just being in the moment. Not talking about what we need to get done or what didn't get done. None of that. We spent that day, after finally crawling out the van and packing up, meandering along back roads through beautiful lush, green farmland where dramatic snow covered peaks rise high. Though the day was overcast, the views were so beautiful still.

We took Hoopingirl on a short hike to Bridal Veil Falls. She was having fun using the camera, snapping me and Daddio along with caterpillers crawling along, the stream, moss-covered trees. I'll post these pics soon. She had fun finding her way along the path and hiking higher. This too marks an inspiration and goal to get hiking a lot more like I used to only how with Hoopingirl.

One hour and who knows how many miles away; we got away for 24 hours and it was so good. The rest of the weekend was fun too but I could feel my to-do list surfacing by Monday afternoon. With the help of a design-star pal, we hung the cork tiles--using a level and all. I was impressed with her precision and with me for going this more well-planned route to hanging something on the wall. My normal routine would be to eyeball whatever it is and paste it on up. Well I was proud. We made a nice design with the tiles. I have to say though today the day after hanging the 8 tiles, I had some doubts about the quality of the tiles and that dreadful doublesided tape you're given use to paste them up. Would it peel my beautiful latte-colored walls? I came home and the tiles were already falling off the walls. I returned them all, got my money back and was so grateful for that. Decided that I would save the 15$ and just use that big bulletin board that I found for free. Warped and all. I could look past the warp to save some money. This huge bulletin board is now up on my wall and it looks great. I have posted a few pieces up so far; a design idea for my desk space and some other reminders and to dos. Its how I want it though big, a board I can stand before and put up my dreams big. On to the next task.